Say what needs to be said
Assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so you might find it difficult to speak up when you feel you’ve been wronged. But with practice and a calm demeanor you can learn how to speak up, Andy Molinsky writes at Harvard Business Review. Here are his tips:
Start with a short statement about the other person’s behavior. For example, “When you don’t file your reports properly …”
Explain how their behavior affects you. For example, “… it makes it hard for me to find them, and I lose a lot of time searching for them.”
Describe how this makes you feel. For example, “I feel frustrated and it stresses me out.”
Put the whole statement together: “When you don’t file your reports properly, it makes it hard for me to find them, and I lose time searching for them. I feel frustrated and it stresses me out when this happens.”
— Adapted from “A Simple Way to Be More Assertive (Without Being Pushy),” Andy Molinsky, Harvard Business Review.