The big picture of job performance can’t exclude civility

Q: “My boss has been giving me verbal warnings unrelated to my work. For example, a co-worker interrupted my lunch when I was having a bad day. I got snippy with her and told her to go away and leave me alone. After she complained, my boss gave me a warning. 

“Another time, my boss changed a policy that affected my job. I got mad and told him not to make any more changes without talking to me first. He said I should not have gotten so upset.

“These personality issues have nothing to do with my job performance. I’m on time every day, and I always complete my work. I plan to take this issue to human resources, but I want to do it professionally. How do I keep from sounding petty?”  Offended

A: Although this is not what you want to hear, you should forget about going to HR and focus on changing your own behavior. When you say these issues “have nothing to do with my job performance,” you are 100% wrong. 

Good job performance is not only about doing assigned tasks, but also about getting along with co-workers and communicating well with management. If you allow yourself to become rude or disagreeable whenever you encounter an annoying person, you will quickly develop a reputation for being “difficult.”

You must also stop ordering your boss around. Even if you don’t think he’s a very good manager, telling him what to do is inappropriate. Instead, try to improve your relationship with him by developing a more mature attitude. 

It might surprise you to know that more people are fired for poor interpersonal skills than for doing shoddy work. By failing to learn emotional control, you could be making a fatal career mistake.

Some people think that results are all that matters for career success. But here’s the real truth: How to Avoid Losing Your Job.