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Young person in a competitive industry

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Question: As a young person in a demanding and competitive industry, what is the best way to stop co-workers from being angry as I succeed in my career?  -- Anonymous


When you surge ahead of them, they feel insecure and doubtful about the progress (or lack) of their own career. This is especially true of older workers who know they may not go as far as you. Be pleasant, don't flaunt your wins or raises, and ALWAYS give public credit to anyone who contributes, even in a small way, to your successes.

You know the old phrase "Kill em with kindness"? It really does work, although it can have a negative affect on those people who can only function on negativity. You can't change others (you already know that). You can only be accountable for your attitude and your responses. We all know office politics is alive and well in every company no matter what, so don't get sucked into their jealous immaturity, rise above it and go for the gold!

As Kalina says, you can't please everyone - accept the fact that not everyone will be happy with your success; true friends will. Continue to do your best and do your best at making others look good - always maintain your integrity!

You can't prevent anyone from becoming angry at your successes, that's a heart thing. At the same time, fewer people will have an excuse to be angry if you remain gracious. Your attitude should be sprinkled with humility, by giving ctredit to whom credit is due. No one person ever does it alone. If you've used people to get to the top, then that's to your dicredit and you won't remain at the top very long. Contrary to what some may think, you can become very successful and still maintain your character and integrity.

My sister and I had this problem as our business began to grow. I had a friend and co-worker who put down my business ideas and had negative comments everytime I talked about the posibility of a new client. She had this problem with me whenever I went to a seminar or took a class. She didn't have the courage to talk to her boss and resented me for talking to mine and for trying to start my own business. She wanted me to be just as miserable as she was. My sister had a co-worker who was also trying to start a business but wasn't doing anything about it. She was jealous of our success but didn't say anything negative. We both wanted to share our success but they couldn't handle it. For me, I stopped sharing my new clients and new ideas with my friend because it was always met with negativity. My sister started inviting her co-worker(since she was trying to start her own business) to functions we were going to so that she could network. She never came but she didn't seem as jealous. I think you have to play it by ear. There will always be people who simply can't deal with your success. Don't let it get you down. Just be prepared for it.

I agree with Kalina, "kill em with kindness". I had the same experience and I have to say, when you stay humble and kind, eventually, they will come around. I was especially nice to the person that was terribly rude to me when I got promoted. I have to say, it took me a year to get her to be nice to me (patience is important). And now? you ask, she is the kindest person and most reliable co-worker I have. She realizes now (on her own) what she did and regrets it because I never disrespected her while she was behaving that way towards me. It is true, some people just won't change and will continue to attack you. But, as long as your new position doesn't get to your head, they will soon see for themselves that you earned that position fair and square.

Congratulations and good luck.

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