Your Office Coach

Each Wednesday, nationally syndicated workplace columnist Marie G. McIntyre, Ph. D., answers your “in the trenches” workplace questions on everything from team-building to getting a raise to dealing with difficult people.

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Q: “I love being a supervisor, but it’s hard to be as tough as my superiors want me to be. I’m beginning to realize that to get things done, I need to be less of a friend and more of a boss. I know I have to demonstrate leadership, but I’m afraid this will turn me into an unlikeable person. After all, does anyone really like their boss?”  Nice Guy

Q: "My job is stressful and unrewarding, with little chance of advancement. Raises and promotions are given only to the chosen few. Management favors people who are outgoing, and I am an introvert. I am also twenty years older than most of my co-workers, so I don’t fit in well. I find myself complaining constantly, because I can’t seem to control my anger and unhappiness. I don’t like the person I have become, but I don’t know how to change. What can I do?" Miserable

Q: “My department manager has stopped sharing information with me. Even though I am older and more experienced, she ignores my suggestions and seems to want to control everything. This woman thinks she’s a good leader, but I’ve told her to her face that she’s a micromanager. I am finding it increasingly difficult to even sit in a meeting with her. How should I handle this problematic boss?” Unappreciated

Q: “I would like to transition from my current secretarial position to a job in our information technology department. I discussed this with my supervisor and today he sent me an email asking if I would like to begin by working on our computer help desk. I’m not sure what my supervisor's real motives are for making this suggestion. Most technicians view the help desk as an undesirable position. If I’m trained for the help desk, I may be stuck there forever. Am I being too suspicious?” Concerned

Q: “‘Megan’ has started dressing exactly like me and even went to my eye doctor to get the same glasses. She always duplicates my order at lunch and has items similar to mine on her desk. Last week, I happened to meet someone who is friends with Megan. This complete stranger knew a lot about me because Megan apparently talks about me all the time. Should I be worried?" Uneasy

Q: “As part of my performance review, I have been asked to write a self-evaluation, which makes me very uncomfortable. For the past eight years, my manager has completed the appraisal form by himself, so this process is new to me. Since I tend to be very self-critical, how do I keep from sabotaging myself?” Apprehensive

Q: “I teach at an international school which employs people from several different countries. ‘Owen’ likes to create friction and is especially rude to our Asian staff members. Some good teachers have left because of Owen, yet no action is ever taken action against him. Whenever Owen is on vacation, we are like one big happy family. But as soon as he returns, the tension starts again. What can we do?” Fed Up

Q: “After being promoted and given a raise, I discovered that I was actually making less money. Because I am now an executive assistant, I have been reclassified from hourly to salaried. This means that I no longer receive overtime, so my take-home pay is less than before. How should I approach my manager about this?” Better Job, Less Money

Q: “Our team recently had a lot of problems while one person was on vacation. No one had been given responsibility for ‘Beth’s’ duties, so her calls were transferred to anyone who was available. Unfortunately, some of the calls were not handled well, and that’s when the finger-pointing started. Our supervisor is blaming the team for these problems, even though she never gave us any direction on how to handle the calls. What should we do now?” Blameless

Q: “Recently, my supervisor abruptly terminated one of my co-workers in front of me and another employee. She then asked the two of us to give her written summaries of what we had witnessed. After reading our reports, she told us to rewrite them based on her version of events, which is basically a lie. Lying is against my principles, so this is totally stressing me out.”  Honest Abe

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