Your Office Coach

Each Wednesday, nationally syndicated workplace columnist Marie G. McIntyre, Ph. D., answers your “in the trenches” workplace questions on everything from team-building to getting a raise to dealing with difficult people.

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Question: “I am a married woman who has fallen in love with my boss. He is also married with kids.  For about a year, we’ve been fighting a strong attraction for each other. Although we have tried to be professional and disregard these feelings, the mutual attraction is hard to ignore. We work together very closely, which makes things even more difficult. What can we do to put this behind us and move on with our lives?” — Lovesick
Question: “I am a married woman who has fallen in love with my boss. He is also married with kids.  For about a year, we’ve been fighting a strong attraction for each other. Although we have tried to be professional and disregard these feelings, the mutual attraction is hard to ignore. We work together very closely, which makes things even more difficult. What can we do to put this behind us and move on with our lives?” — Lovesick
Question:  “When my boss gives me a project, he never shares all the information that resides in his head, so I often fail to achieve his vision of the final results. Then I have to redo tasks that were already completed. If I try to get information in advance, he will never give it to me in an orderly manner. I’ve started e-mailing my questions with bullet points, so he can type the answers underneath. “Mr. Visionary” says he wants me to think outside the box, but I believe he really expects me to read his mind. How can I work with this person?” — Going Crazy
Question:  “When my boss gives me a project, he never shares all the information that resides in his head, so I often fail to achieve his vision of the final results. Then I have to redo tasks that were already completed. If I try to get information in advance, he will never give it to me in an orderly manner. I’ve started e-mailing my questions with bullet points, so he can type the answers underneath. “Mr. Visionary” says he wants me to think outside the box, but I believe he really expects me to read his mind. How can I work with this person?” — Going Crazy

Question:  “After our company president retired, I was demoted. I had been his communication advisor for seven years. The new president replaced me with a public relations director, who is now my boss. After reviewing an article I wrote for our company magazine, my new manager made a number of significant changes. I asked two colleagues for a second opinion, and they preferred my original version. When I shared their comments with my boss, he accused me of refusing to accept my changed role. How should I handle this situation?” — Edged Out

Question:  “After our company president retired, I was demoted. I had been his communication advisor for seven years. The new president replaced me with a public relations director, who is now my boss. After reviewing an article I wrote for our company magazine, my new manager made a number of significant changes. I asked two colleagues for a second opinion, and they preferred my original version. When I shared their comments with my boss, he accused me of refusing to accept my changed role. How should I handle this situation?” — Edged Out

Question:  “In our company, employees never receive raises. We only get quarterly bonuses for meeting specific goals. Although the CEO says "we couldn't do it without you," he makes no effort to improve our salaries. This job provides valuable experience in a profession that I love, so I hate to think about leaving. I really enjoy my work, my co-workers and the relaxed environment. On the other hand, my pay is still very low after two years. Any advice?” — Worth More

Question:  “In our company, employees never receive raises. We only get quarterly bonuses for meeting specific goals. Although the CEO says "we couldn't do it without you," he makes no effort to improve our salaries. This job provides valuable experience in a profession that I love, so I hate to think about leaving. I really enjoy my work, my co-workers and the relaxed environment. On the other hand, my pay is still very low after two years. Any advice?” — Worth More

Question:  "Although I’m viewed positively at work, I believe my reserved demeanor is holding me back. I’m not shy, but I have trouble making small talk. In meetings, I give input whenever I’m asked, but seldom volunteer information. As a result, I’ve been labeled a quiet person. Although I prefer working alone at my computer, I know that won’t get me where I want to go. Can you suggest some communication strategies for meetings and social situations?" -- Not a Talker

Question:  "Although I’m viewed positively at work, I believe my reserved demeanor is holding me back. I’m not shy, but I have trouble making small talk. In meetings, I give input whenever I’m asked, but seldom volunteer information. As a result, I’ve been labeled a quiet person. Although I prefer working alone at my computer, I know that won’t get me where I want to go. Can you suggest some communication strategies for meetings and social situations?" -- Not a Talker

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