Your Office Coach

Each Wednesday, nationally syndicated workplace columnist Marie G. McIntyre, Ph. D., answers your “in the trenches” workplace questions on everything from team-building to getting a raise to dealing with difficult people.

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Question:  “Our store manager and assistant manager recently ended an extramarital affair after the assistant’s wife discovered it. Everyone at work had been aware of the relationship for quite awhile.  Although they’ve agreed to stop seeing each other, the situation is still very uncomfortable. Our regional boss just wants the whole thing to go away. Sales have improved since these two started working together, so he doesn’t want to transfer either of them out. We’ve been told that any employee caught gossiping about the affair could be terminated. The assistant’s wife is furious that management won't force a transfer, but she doesn't feel that she can speak up. I would like to contact human resources on her behalf, but I’m afraid of getting in trouble. What should I do?” — Disturbed
Question:  “I sit near a human resources employee who talks very loudly on the phone. She gossips about confidential personnel matters, such as the amount of someone’s bonus check or which employees are being pursued by collection agencies. Everyone in the group can hear her, even if we try not to listen. We are all afraid to go to her boss, because they are good friends. What can we do?” —Concerned
Question:  “I sit near a human resources employee who talks very loudly on the phone. She gossips about confidential personnel matters, such as the amount of someone’s bonus check or which employees are being pursued by collection agencies. Everyone in the group can hear her, even if we try not to listen. We are all afraid to go to her boss, because they are good friends. What can we do?” —Concerned
Question:  “Our group has one person, “Cindy,” who is called the team lead. This is not a supervisory position.  Although she is just supposed to assist our supervisor and fill in when he’s away, Cindy constantly tells me what to do. She monitors my work, times my breaks and even contradicts my supervisor’s instructions. Cindy is not a bad person, and she’s good at her job. I don’t dislike her, but I want her to back off and stop giving orders. Because our open-door policy says we can go straight to the vice president, I plan to discuss the situation with her. What do you think?” — Not a Pushover
Question:  “Our group has one person, “Cindy,” who is called the team lead. This is not a supervisory position.  Although she is just supposed to assist our supervisor and fill in when he’s away, Cindy constantly tells me what to do. She monitors my work, times my breaks and even contradicts my supervisor’s instructions. Cindy is not a bad person, and she’s good at her job. I don’t dislike her, but I want her to back off and stop giving orders. Because our open-door policy says we can go straight to the vice president, I plan to discuss the situation with her. What do you think?” — Not a Pushover
Question:  “For the past two years, the law firm where I work as a paralegal has had many problems. Going in every day is depressing, because the hang-dog atmosphere radiates everywhere. My immediate boss is under tremendous pressure and treats his staff badly. His temper creates a great deal of stress. I think it may be time to move on.  However, if you have any suggestions for surviving here, I will try them. This was my dream job, and I would deeply regret leaving.” — Stressed & Depressed
Question:  “For the past two years, the law firm where I work as a paralegal has had many problems. Going in every day is depressing, because the hang-dog atmosphere radiates everywhere. My immediate boss is under tremendous pressure and treats his staff badly. His temper creates a great deal of stress. I think it may be time to move on.  However, if you have any suggestions for surviving here, I will try them. This was my dream job, and I would deeply regret leaving.” — Stressed & Depressed
Question: "I am feeling completely overwhelmed by all my responsibilities. I have worked my way up from sales representative to regional manager in a rapidly growing business. My sales team consistently leads the company.However, I also have four children under the age of 10, and I want to give the best to them. I have considered stepping down from management, but then everything I’ve built will go into someone else’s hands. I will also lose a lot of money. Right now, I feel burned-out, especially because my job requires a lot of travel. I also volunteer for many church and school activities. After investing so much time in my career, should I just give everything up?" — Tired Mom
Question: "I am feeling completely overwhelmed by all my responsibilities. I have worked my way up from sales representative to regional manager in a rapidly growing business. My sales team consistently leads the company.However, I also have four children under the age of 10, and I want to give the best to them. I have considered stepping down from management, but then everything I’ve built will go into someone else’s hands. I will also lose a lot of money. Right now, I feel burned-out, especially because my job requires a lot of travel. I also volunteer for many church and school activities. After investing so much time in my career, should I just give everything up?" — Tired Mom
Question:  “As a help desk employee, I take calls from people having computer problems. Before this job, no one ever criticized my work, but lately my manager has received numerous complaints. Since every call is recorded, it’s clear that I have not been nasty to anyone. However, my boss always wants to appease the callers, so he lectures me about anything that seems negative. These constant reprimands are very demoralizing. Most recently, I got in trouble with a caller who couldn’t find a serial number. Our web site clearly states that this number is required when calling the help desk. The woman got upset and began to argue with me.  Instead of arguing back, I told her how to contact my manager, then hung up the phone. The tape clearly shows that I was not ugly or smart-alecky, but my manager says I should not have hung up. I am well-educated, with much more extensive computer knowledge than this job calls for. I am also rather introverted. I have started looking for a new position, but would like to know how to avoid these problems in the future.” — Depressed
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