Queston: “I want to know if I should tell my manager that I’m looking for another job.  For the past several months, our company’s business has been declining. Management recently slashed our pay, and one of my co-workers was laid off. It seems obvious that anyone in this situation would be exploring other options, but I’m not sure if I should bring it up. I've always been able to talk openly with my boss, but lately he acts like a different person.” — Uncertain

Question: “My manager asked me to take over a very difficult position for which I had no background or training. He has been pleased with my progress. However, a group of guys from another department seem determined to make me fail. They ignore my requests, withhold information and argue about everything. My male predecessor left because of their behavior, so my being a woman is not the only problem. I tried making peace by offering to help with their work, but that only made things worse. Apparently, they viewed my olive branch as a sign of surrender. Recently, my boss and their manager decided that all communication between us must go through the two of them. This worries me, because it looks like I can’t handle the situation. Any suggestions?” — Not One of the Guys

Question:  “My boss, “Debra,” has been a wonderful mentor. As a result of her mentoring skills, I was recently offered a job with another company at a 30% pay increase. I would like to repay her by doing some “reverse mentoring.” Debra oversees a department of 125 people, manages a $3 million budget and has an MBA. She is also one of the smartest people I know. However, top management here frequently fails to recognize excellence.

After 27 years with this company, Debra finally seems ready to move on. She has been asking me questions like “What else do you think I might be qualified for?”  How can I help her?” —Grateful to My Boss

Question:  “Our appraisal system requires supervisors to schedule quarterly conferences with their employees, but my boss never does. On my annual performance review, he always lists the dates when our conferences should have happened, then asks me to sign it. I have never been comfortable falsifying this information, but I don't know what to do. Should I just suck it up and sign to keep my boss out of trouble? Or should I refuse and risk becoming the target of retaliation?” — Honest Employee

Question: "I feel that I have been misled by my manager. When I was taking college courses, she told me she would work on getting my pay increased after I received my degree.Now that I’ve graduated, she says our company apparently does not give raises based on degrees.  She also says that our vice president feels I don’t deserve a raise because of tardiness and because I missed some meetings with him.I recently started an MBA program, but I’m not sure management appreciates my efforts to advance my career. What do you think?" — Educated and Underpaid

Question: What kind of touching is considered “inappropriate” at work? I don’t mean sexual contact, but simply an occasional pat on the arm or a hand on someone’s back. One of our managers, who is naturally gregarious, received a formal complaint about this kind of touching. The complaining person never said before that she was offended, so how was he to know? My own management style has been described as warm and “touchy-feely.” Should I start being more careful? -- Concerned

Q: “Our new CEO is very vindictive. He has ‘spies’ who feed him stories about employees that he doesn’t like. He fires people based on fabricated information, then displays his power by having security accompany them off the premises. I recently met with him to explain how this is hurting the business. I had data to prove that customer satisfaction and employee turnover have gotten worse since he arrived. But the CEO placed me on final warning for insubordination. For the next year, I can be immediately terminated for any additional offense. How do I establish a safe relationship with this man? — A Dedicated Manager

You dread going to work. The problem isn’t your job, which you love. And you’re blessed with a great staff. But your boss makes you miserable. Here’s how to fight off intimidation and get support when you need it most ...

Question: “I manage the gift shop at a beautiful, historic winery. Although this is a wonderful place to work, we do encounter customers with a variety of challenging personalities. I have several employees who complain about how stupid customers are and what dumb questions they ask. Since we don't work in a bubble, I'm sure customers sometimes overhear these comments. I’ve tried asking everyone to be more positive, but negativity spreads like a disease. How do I stop this catty chatter?” — Frustrated in Wisconsin

Question: I can’t seem to get promoted, even though I am well-qualified. My performance evaluations are excellent, and I have received numerous awards. The company posts promotional opportunities so that anyone can apply, but the “winning” applicant always seems to have been selected in advance. Obviously, politics plays a great part in these selections, and I am not a political person. I do interact with people, but I just don’t do it with an agenda in mind. How can I get ahead? —  No Way Out

Question: “One of our co-workers, “Bob,” regularly comes in quite late. Until he gets here, the rest of us have to answer his phone and deal with callers’ problems. Bob is taking advantage of a nice boss who is not a micromanager. Our boss knows that Bob is usually late, but he hasn’t said anything to him. What should we do?” — Tired of Bob

 

Question: “My boss recently confessed that he has “feelings” for me. I am happily married and definitely do not share these feelings. The situation is uncomfortable, because he is the owner of this very small business. Although I have handwritten notes documenting his "emotional attachment,” I have been told this is not sexual harassment. I began looking for a new job, but so far have had no luck. My boss says his feelings haven’t changed, and he wants to know whether I am still planning to leave. What should I do?” — Pursued

Question: “I’ve been my boss’s secretary for more than five years, even changing companies with him. He recently hired another secretary to help with my workload. The problem is that she shares all my responsibilities and seems to have most of the work. It feels as though she has become my replacement. How do I approach my boss about this without sounding like I’m whining?” — Feeling Useless

Question: “In my performance review, my boss included some negative comments from his own manager. Since I don’t agree with these remarks, I said so in the “Employee Comments” section of the appraisal form. I stood up for what I believe to be true, but now I wonder if I made a mistake.  What do you think?”  — Uncertain Employee

Question: “People at work seem to think I’m a flirt, but I don’t agree. My husband and I are happily married, and I’m just a naturally friendly person who likes people. However, I know that if others think I’m flirting, my opinion really doesn't matter. Do you have any advice?” — Friendly Gal

Question: “My husband, ‘Jerry,’ has become quite distressed. After five months as the acting manager of his group, he now has a new boss who is very different from his previous manager. She is slow to act on issues like resolving customer problems or filling open positions. He has tried to talk with her about this, but she is not a strong communicator. Employee morale is sinking, and Jerry feels responsible.  What can he do?” — Worried Wife

Question: "I am absolutely miserable in my job, but it’s hard to look for work while I'm currently employed. The owner of this company is a horrible person who yells and insults her employees. She doesn’t like to give people time off, so I have trouble getting away for interviews. I recently lost a possible position because I couldn't make the interview. I’ve been here for three years. How do I get out?" — Trapped & Depressed

Question: “I recently learned that our newest employee, whom I have been training for a year, makes $15,000 more than I do. A colleague, who accidentally saw a confidential list of salaries in our department, told me. During my 10 years with this company, I always thought that I was one of the most valuable employees. Now I feel betrayed and am not sure how to deal with it.” —  Unappreciated

Question:  “I was a high achiever with no interpersonal skills. I really didn’t know how to talk to people. I was promoted to a management position, with several employees reporting to me. However, I was later demoted because I lacked “people skills.” Since then, I have had a major internal overhaul, and my attitude toward others is completely different. I would like to get my career back on track. Do you think I can change management’s perception of me or should I just move on to another company?” -- Changed for the Better

Question: “After my supervisor retired, I was promoted to fill his position. He had a special arrangement with one employee, “Kelly,” allowing her to come in early and leave early. However, no one ever knew exactly what time she arrived. When the owner promoted me, he said that I must put Kelly on the same schedule as everyone else. I’m not sure how to approach this employee about changing her hours. How can I fix this without losing her?” — Caught in the Middle

Question: “Our department has regular update meetings where all team members review their projects. When I’m presenting, my manager continually interrupts to add background information. I believe that I should be the one to provide any additional information about my work. How do I handle these annoying interruptions without offending my boss?” — Frustrated Speaker

Question: “I’ve had trouble getting along with every manager I’ve ever had. In my last job, it got so bad that I asked for a transfer, but now I’ve run into the same issues with my new boss. I’ve already written to Human Resources about my communication problems with her. How can I turn this situation around?” —  Discouraged

Question: “Last year, I made a sexual harassment complaint against my boss. He kept telling me to wear short skirts and asked if I had thong underwear. He offered to bring me wine and even showed up at my house. When I complained, the president said it was my fault because I wasn't firm enough when I told my boss to stop. He said we should forget about it and tell no one, because “nobody got hurt." Now my boss constantly follows me around the building, asks about my lunch plans and watches out the window when I leave. People have seen him going through my trash. This may not be harassment, but it’s annoying. What can I do until I find another job?” — Need Help

Question:  “Our CEO recently announced that the company is in dire straits, and major layoffs are coming. Top management has not communicated with the staff since the announcement. Morale is really low, employees are starting to accept their fate and very little is getting done. As a senior manager, what can I do to help my employees deal with this and prepare for the future?” — Concerned Executive

Question: "I don’t know how to handle an abusive boss. I work for the president and vice president of a small company. The President and I can discuss anything, but the VP is confrontational and rude.  He verbally abuses me when no one is around and becomes especially angry when deadlines are tight. I’ve been in abusive relationships in my personal life, so I don’t intend to condone this behavior.  However, I’m not sure exactly what to do." — Not a Doormat