Question: “One of my co-workers is jealous of me. I am young but very valuable to this company, and I get along with everyone but her. Lately, she’s been snooping around my desk, even though there is no reason for her to be at my desk. Any suggestions as to how I should handle this nosy and annoying co-worker?” — Anonymous

Question: “Due to a reorganization, an administrative assistant that I have worked side-by-side with for 10 years was reassigned from Operations to HR. She still continues doing most of the work she did previously, even though I should now perform most of those duties. She had no choice in the reassignment and doesn’t feel secure in her new position. How should I tactfully tell her that I should now handle the duties for the Operations department?”  — Mary

Question: “Should I say something when I notice employees aren’t managing their time wisely? Often, they socialize with co-workers, with family, make personal phone calls or browse the Internet. I’m not a manager or a supervisor. I’m an administrative assistant to multiple departments and I often find myself doing the work of other co-workers when they should be doing it on their own. Also, should I log this sort of behavior? — Anonymous

Question: “What should I do about a co-worker who takes advantage of a boss-less office?  My boss's main office is in Massachusetts, but she also manages my two-person office in New York remotely.  This requires a large amount of trust from my boss.  My co-worker, however, walks into the office late, but leaves on time every single day. Plus, she stops working 10 to 15 minutes early to use the restroom, shut down her computer and pack up. Further, she constantly makes personal calls on the office phone, which we share!  I know that if my boss were here, my co-worker would not be conducting herself in this manner.  How do I bring this to the attention of my boss without appearing like a troublemaker?” —Jamie

"How can I deal with a co-worker who constantly complains that he doesn’t like his job or the people in the department? I suggested he talk to those he has issues with. I even suggested he find a new job. But he just keeps complaining and it interferes with my performance and morale. What can I do?  I don’t want to be mean or unprofessional." -- Janice

Question: “I have moved back to my hometown and taken a position that I held 13 years ago. At the time, I was the only secretary/administrative assistant in the office. Now, there is a secretary and an administrative assistant, which is my position. The secretary resents me because she did not get this position. She did not get this position the last couple of times it was filled. She has a good friend in our IT Department and the two of them talk about me and things that go on in the office. The secretary also is abrupt to the public and uses profanity. I don’t like her talking about me and I feel that she should be more professional. What should I do?” — LS 

Question: “We have an employee who has been going through a difficult divorce for the past year and a half. Lately, she has been making more and more mistakes and it seems she needs training on things we all should know and that she once knew. She seems overly sensitive to basic constructive criticism and is beginning to play a bit of the blame game. I think she needs a vacation, but she refuses to take one. Any suggestions on how to get her through this divorce without sacrificing job performance? Or is there such thing as a “mandatory” vacation?” — Jocelyn

“We have an employee who lies about her time, doesn't do all her work, complains about co-workers and tries to change policy for her benefit. The administrator ignores all of our complaints.  How can we handle this difficult employee?” — Anonymous

Question: “We have a co-worker who is cooperative, personable, cheerful and a great employee. But his whistling is driving our office up a tree. Some people find it extremely irritating when they are trying to concentrate. Subtle and direct remarks have been made to him regarding the whistling, but he says it helps him relax and perform his duties better. Any suggestions on how to curb the whistling but not hurt his feelings?” — No longer whistling Dixie

Question: “Due to downsizing and others leaving the company, an immature co-worker was promoted to a low-level managerial position. Despite her new position, she badmouths the company and has a real "gloom and doom" attitude. I am tired of all her bashing and negativity. I've asked her to stop and also reminded her that she shouldn't do that in front of her employees now that she's in a position of authority. But it's like talking to a brick wall. We're friends, but she's really driving a wedge between us. Does anyone have a trick to make her stop? I can't take it too much longer before I snap.” — Maisy

Question: “I am an administrative assistant with a busy schedule working for a senior director.  My problem is our receptionist, who works right outside my office. She talks on the phone constantly, does personal work and has student assistants coming and going 20 hours per week. I am so frazzled listening to her and then hearing her tell everyone who will listen how overworked she is.  I don’t supervise her, but her work is minimal at best. She is barely literate, and no one will bring it to her boss’s attention when she makes mistakes — or neglects to meet their requests.  But — surprise, surprise — she’s a great receptionist.  It bothers me because when raises are given, they’re all across the board with no incentives! And I have to listen to it all day long. What can I do?” — Judi

Question: “What are some ideas for handling negativity in the workplace? I work in a small government agency and there are so many “negaholics.” What is the best way to handle these people?” —Lynnette

Question: "How do you resolve conflict and assuage damaging, condescending comments that are very subtly done?  The comments come from a manager to an employee who (technically) does not report to him.  He has had several reports lodged against him regarding this. All previous employees who complained are no longer here, but he is." — Fed up

Question: I report directly to the director and I also supervise the receptionist/secretary in our agency. The problem is dealing with the assistant director (AD), who is a bully. I have tried to let the bullying slide, but the receptionist/secretary has submitted a complaint to me on how uncomfortable it makes her feel when the AD screams at me.

The AD gets mad about things I have no control over. She also makes verbal changes on procedures and when we make the changes, she comes back and states she didn’t say that. I handle payroll and she will come in and make changes on payroll day. Then she comes into my office and hollers and screams at me because I had to add information into the payroll system. I have tried to speak to her. I have apologized to her. But she is a bully, and I am at the point that I may need to look for another position. The director speaks to her and she gets upset and hollers at him, too. He allows it, and then I get it even worse.  --- Anonymous

Question: I recently worked on a "team project" that included giving a presentation to an entire department (think "The Apprentice Lite"). We didn't have a project manager, but three out of the four team members worked night and day for three weeks on this project.

The three of us did literally 99.9 percent of the work. The fourth team member (we call her "The Albatross") came up with the "concept" but when asked to complete her portion of the presentation, she would regurgitate what we had already done in a completely unusable format.

When we gave the presentation, she chimed in during our portions, making it look as though we had overlooked something and that she had "saved the day."

Unfortunately, the Donald wasn't there to ask us who should have been fired. What is your advice on handling future projects such as this, with a deadbeat project member who happily lets you do all her work and takes all the credit? -- Migraine Millie

Question: I have an office mate who is very nosy. We have different positions. I have a lot of traffic flow with vendors and other employees who ask me for help or information. Invariably, she pokes her nose in and adds her own comments or suggestions.

How do I get her to stop interfering? We have shared this office for about a year. Before we moved in together, we both told our manager that we shouldn't share an office. She is a very loud person and if I am talking to someone, and she is talking to someone, I can't hear the person I am talking to. This is becoming intolerable.

We are going through some downsizing, so I don't want to mention it to my manager right now. We work 10-hour days, and they are pretty long when you have to continually bite your tongue. I'm afraid I will lash out at her soon.  -- Anonymous

Question: Last spring, the company hired an AA. She conducts her personal business loudly so it echoes down the hall, slams doors and comes to my desk in the front office to share her personal problems (with a new drama each week). She also complains that the fumes from the copier and shredder make her “nauseous.” Everyone knows all her personal business (and problems) even when they would rather not (like me).

When her manager is out of the office, she spends her time on the phone conducting personal business with the door open so everyone can hear. I have gone to her office and closed the door on a couple of occasions and just today she snapped at me saying if she wanted the door closed she would do it herself.

Another AA and I have tried talking with her manager, but this person won't listen to us.

Any suggestions about how to get her to keep her personal business (and drama and problems) in her office behind closed doors?  -- Anonymous

Question: I work part time in a clinic setting. A co-worker (I will call her Katie) has really made a name for herself as a constant gossip.

Katie also is in charge of scheduling for the non-technical staff. She shares private information with everyone in the office about why you called in sick, who you are dating or what you did on the weekend. It upsets me that she shares everyone’s medical problems, not to mention the errors they’ve made on the job. Does this violate some ethical standing?

I'm not sure how to approach the topic with Katie and/or the office manager. I have a good standing with the office manager but since I only work part time, I don’t feel that I have much say in day-to-day operations.

A few co-workers have attempted to talk to the office manager about Katie but nothing has been done about it. Any suggestions?  -- Lori

Question: Has anyone in a Sr. Admin. Asst. role had to deal with a “Diva”? I am a Sr. Admin. Asst. and I work with an Admin. Asst. who feels that she doesn’t have to respond to my requests, especially when I ask her to provide information to me prior to meetings. She wants to do the PowerPoint presentation herself; therefore, she shows up with it on a disk the morning of the meeting. Others provide the information to me and I create the PowerPoint, so I know I have everything ready. She’s very talented and I depend on her, but she comes across as “I don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules.” Any suggestions?  -- Anonymous

Question: I have two concerns and I'm hoping for some advice on either how you've handled it or what you think I ought to do in these situations:

Situation 1
The receptionist at the company where I am executive assistant, although relatively friendly and engaging with co-workers, is rather cold and unprofessional on the phone. Instead of saying “May I ask you to hold while I transfer you?” she says either “Hold on a moment” or “Just a moment.”

I once said in a somewhat jovial manner: “You sure sound happy about answering the phone!” She jovially replied that I should go back to my desk and handle my job and let her handle hers. I'm not her supervisor, although typically, I should/would be. Instead, HR supervises her.

The HR administrator and I have gotten into small, uncomfortable situations because the boss will tell me to handle something, and HR will have a cow thinking it’s their project or should be their responsibility.

That department shows a severe lack of respect for the boss’s wishes. The boss can ask for a roster of folks attending a seminar, and I can ask for it twice in the following three weeks and still, the day of the seminar, there is no roster. HR indicated that it was waiting on two VP’s. But, when VP’s were asked, they indicated that HR was handling it, not them.

HR has translated this sort of behavior to the receptionist, so that when I ask her, for instance, if someone shipped a personal expense on the company DHL account, I’m told: “Don’t worry about it; it’s not your department, and I’m not going to take it up with them.”

Situation 2
I signed off on a work order with the A/C maintenance company, and the repairs took a day longer than they promised and our server room temperatures rose dangerously high.

I talked to the manager at the A/C company and suggested in the future that he at least call to let us know that the repairs would be delayed. He then contacted the receptionist, who comes to me saying she didn’t know why I was going off on him when it wasn’t my place to worry about it, But I SIGNED OFF ON IT. It was my responsibility to see that it was done.

The general attitude from HR/the receptionist is “Stay out of it,” even though the boss has directed me specifically to take responsibility for such things. I happen to know that the receptionist is close to losing her job because of the way she handles the phone and also visitors, whom she handles in much the same manner.

I’m at a loss as to how to handle it. If I go to the boss, he’ll tell me to talk to HR and her and “get her straightened up or shipped out.” If I deal with HR, I'll get a tossed head and rolled eyes and a mutter about people staying out of HR’s business. The receptionist will get yelled at, but nothing will be accomplished because HR simply scolds and doesn’t deliver a change or even a direction to change.  If I talk to the receptionist, she'll dismiss what I say and tell me to go back to my desk. 

How do I handle these situations? I'm normally a people pleaser, but also am very disciplined in what I believe is expected from someone in a professional position ... especially one as high-profile as a receptionist (first impression of the company).

I can’t stand it when people don’t do their jobs right or take pride in even trying. Yet, I do like the receptionist and view her as a “work friend.”  I beg for advice of you wise people! Thank you!  -- Anonymous

Question: How do you not get stressed out working as an assistant to two very powerful personalities? One has the effect of a Mack truck when he approaches me. The other tends to be highly critical and extremely articulate.  -- Carolyn

Question: I've been an administrative assistant/event planner at a nonprofit for almost three years now. Of the 14 assistant-type people (secretaries, administrative assistants, executive secretaries, executive assistants, etc.), employed here, four are under age 26. The other 10 assistants are in their mid-50s, which is fine by me as long as they're qualified and capable of doing the work.

I'm one of the "young" ones. I've been called a "young girl" by the other ladies, treated like a young girl, and even been looked down upon as if I'm the older ladies' child. That's not a problem for me because I can easily ignore this. I know I'm not a young girl and, apparently, I was the best person for my job, because the senior staff hired me.

The problem begins for me when the older women start having little huddle talks at their desks and it's obvious they're talking about the younger assistants. They also refuse to listen to our (the young girls') ideas or ask us for help when there are things that we can definitely help with.

When we do offer our services (without their invitation) because we have heard them discussing -- rather loudly -- their predicament, they don’t even listen to us and treat us like we know nothing because of our age. It's very discomforting to me to see older women like this who could be setting a great example for administrative professionals our age act like no one matters but them.

All of them have been in their positions three years or less, so it isn't like they're more qualified than any one else on the job. When we have knowledge-share luncheons, they talk about all the difficulty they have with certain parts of their job and disregard our comments and suggestions.

How can one address an issue like this effectively without causing office tension? I would just like to be on an even playing field with all of them so that we can help one another out and all be successful in our positions. I’m sure I’m not the only who has or will encounter something like this but, quite frankly, it’s very immature of people to have attitudes like this.  -- Anonymous

Question: A younger woman (early 20s) is working our switchboard. She has stolen from people before but no one has been able to catch her in the act. (She’s stolen money repeatedly from a co-worker’s purse, and the money was returned once one of the supervisors said he was thinking about calling the police.)

Well, she finally stole something from me that I let her borrow. Nothing too important, but it’s the principle of the matter. She says she has to have it "around here somewhere," although she’s "looked everywhere."

I’ve notified her boss and his boss and even my boss (the president) of the incidents before this current matter. No one is doing anything. I mean, what could they do?

What more should I do, if anything? It makes me so mad that she’s getting away with stealing from people!  -- Shelly