Question: I will be attending a conference next week, and the program says “business casual.” Should I wear a jacket, or just pants and a blouse? -- Anonymous

Question: How do you feel about being asked or expected to make coffee in your office? If you are the first person to arrive at the office, do you take it upon yourself to make it? What if you are not a coffee drinker? Is it your duty/responsibility to brew up a fresh pot every day?  -- Anonymous, Los Angeles

Question: I frequently send out meeting notices by e-mail to a large group of volunteers, well in advance of the meeting date. While some of the volunteers RSVP, many do not. I also send out a small reminder closer to the meeting date.

Sometimes this helps, but quite a few volunteers never respond. This is a problem because their attendance is very important, and I order food according to how many people are coming.

How should I handle this in a courteous and professional way? You can't force people to respond to your e-mails. My last resort is to call each person individually, but I feel like I'm being "pushy" when I do that. Plus, that takes a lot of time. Any suggestions? -- Anonymous

Question: When responding to an e-mail, should the response be placed above or below the original message? -- Anonymous

Question: I work at a very large corporation. Our small department is at an off-site location, so as the administrative assistant, I also work at the front reception desk.

We have a somewhat laid-back atmosphere, and I like that. But when I'm on the phone, I can barely hear the caller.

The source of my problem is twofold:

First, it's noisy in the room. Often, many loud conversations are carried out right by my desk. Also, the guys just have loud voices that carry across the room. Some people hold conversations across the room. Very often, impromptu meetings are held with vendors as they come in.

To deal with this, I’ve tried to talk on the phone near the corner wall of my desk. (We have 5-foot-high sheet-rocked walls around our desk areas.) I’ve tried to let my co-workers know when I'm on the phone with a friendly wave to my co-workers or by asking the caller to hold and then asking my co-workers to keep it down. That's been a temporary solution. My supervisor is aware the problem and tries to remember to not hold meetings at my desk.

The second problem is the phone system: Everyone here has a hard time hearing callers. To cope with this, I often have to apologize to callers and ask them to speak up or to repeat what they've said. Because I'm at the front reception desk, I can't go to another location to speak on the phone.

I researched this problem with our telecom department. I've tried using a handset with a volume control, but it doesn't work on my phone, nor does a headset.

For several years, I've talked to my supervisor about getting a better phone system. A new system would actually pay for itself within two years. Our department manager is aware of the problem, yet a new phone system is never put in the budget.

Since I'm not getting any support from my supervisor or my manager, does anyone have any other ideas to survive the room noise and poor telephone system?  -- Anonymous

Question: How do you address an issue with a co-worker who speaks and laughs very loudly in ongoing conversations at work, which is very disruptive when you're doing your work?

The problem is that no one seems to say anything to this person, even though everyone -- especially her supervisor -- knows that this is a problem.

How can this situation be remedied? Help!  -- Virginia

Question: I work in at a college and have a situation: One of my co-workers is very sensitive to smells (perfumes, colognes, etc.) and is often relocated to other workspaces to avoid headaches or becoming nauseous.

Her supervisor would like to put some type of sign around the area, notifying people that the area is fragrance-free. This will be posted inside the office (for other co-workers who wear perfumes to back off a little), as well as outside the office (for students/visitors who visit at the window).

What’s a nice way of wording a simple sign, without offending anyone?

Thanks!  -- Tami

Question: I'm wondering if any of my fellow admins/executive assistants know of a book on business etiquette.

For example:

• How to introduce someone to the president/CEO when you know only the person's title and first name.
• How to tell when it's OK/not OK to interrupt your boss in a meeting, and what to say when you do.
• What does that closed door mean?
• How to notify your employer (in an emergency) of very delicately personal, family-oriented matters via phone in a discreet, respectful manner when you work in a cubicle setting.
• When/when not to call your boss from your personal cell phone.
• Just how many times am I supposed to call to try and relay this message?
• It's after 5 p.m. and there's something going on at the office the boss HAS to know about.  The boss is holding a party at her house and would be disturbed if I called. Now, what do I say?
• Oops! I forgot the other exec's name and he's a new business contract contact! What do I say when he comes out to chat with me?
• My boss went to a meeting and the location has changed, but I can't get through to her cell phone to let her know. This could be a disaster!
• How do I announce someone's arrival in the front office? To the boss? To other co-workers?

Sort of a "Miss Manners for the Admin Professional." Lots of books are out there on how to write professional business correspondence like this, but I haven't seen much on verbal communication.  Thanks.  -- Sometimes Tongue-Tied, Rochester, N.Y.

Question: I have a co-worker who wears trashy clothing to work almost every day. Even when she tries her hardest to dress professionally, she still looks horrible because her skirts are too short, her pants are too tight, and most of her shirts show her tattoos.

We work with mostly men, and they all make fun of her behind her back, calling her names and ridiculing her.

Her boss has addressed this issue but it hasn’t seemed to help. I have a pretty descent relationship with her, and everyone in the office knows me as the woman who tells it like it is. Should I tell her she is committing career suicide by dressing the way she dose?

Please help.  -- Mandy

Question: I work in a nice office with a lot of nice people around. Sometimes, however, the lady next to me in her cube will chew gum ... then, she will pop it. Not too loud that the whole office hears it, but enough for me to cringe each time. It makes me mad, and I want to yell: "Please stop! For the love of all that is good in this world, stop popping your gum!"

But I am a professional and would like advice on how to politely bring this issue to light. Any suggestions?  -- Eau Claire, Wis.

Question: I work in an office with 19 other people and I am in charge of turning on the dishwasher each night before leaving.  To some, this translates to me also being in charge of cleaning up after everyone.

Often, there are dirty dishes in the sink or the counter, crumbs on the table, empty food containers left out, etc. ... and it's left for me to clean up.

Several memos have been distributed to the staff to remind them to take responsibility for their own housekeeping, but it has not been successful.  Any ideas?  I'm tired of being known as the office maid. My name is not Hazel!  -- Anonymous

Question: I would like to know how other assistants/receptionists/whatever your title deal with disruptions.  I 'm not talking about the phone ringing, sales people coming in or clients.  I 'm talking about people just stopping at your desk asking you how your weekend was, what did you have for lunch, how's this, how's that.

I' m not even centrally located to the rest of the office (to the managers, I am), so it's not like they really come to talk. How do I politely (since I have to work with everyone every day) say I 'm too busy to talk about lunch/dinner or the weekend?  -- Anonymous

Question: I work in a small office with about 17 people.  We have a kitchen in our office with a microwave, refrigerator and toaster oven.  It has come to our attention that some  of the kitchen odors are offensive to other co-workers and clients who may be in the office for a meeting.  Even with the kitchen door closed, the odor permeates the office. In particular, onions and garlic were mentioned, but really, any strong odors would fall into this category. 

It has been requested that a memo go out to everyone asking them not to eat things that have onions or garlic.  My question is : How do you limit what employees can eat and how do you determine what odor is permitted and what is not?  A lot of people bring leftover meals rather than going out to lunch for the sake of saving time and money, so this may create a problem for some. 

I'd love to hear suggestions or if anyone has gone through a similar situation and how you handled it.

Thank  you, -- Anonymous

Question: I’d like to ask admin assistants and receptionists (front desk personnel) to share their tips on how to deal with constant interruptions.

We are a front desk staff at a nonprofit medical facility. We take care of visitors, set up appointments and answer a lot of questions from associates, as well as collect money, enter data, bill insurance and contact various departments to obtain information.

We have a small staff. The front desk person is required to be the front- and back-office staff for this facility.

The appointment book and central file area are located in the front office. Staff members come into the area to check their appointments and they walk through the area to get to the files and their mailboxes. There was another door they could go through to get to files, but, due to HIPAA regulations, it is now kept locked.  To get some confidential work done, we close our door. But people come in, anyway.

Thank you.  -- Anonymous

Question: Does anyone have an effective, politically correct method of getting people to clear their own copier jams? Not a day goes by that I don't find someone else's unattended jam that I have to clear.

The copier has very specific, fully illustrated instructions on how to clear the jam, yet everyone seems to leave it for the next person to clear.

It's not difficult to figure out which admins are doing this (and it's the same ones who spend literally hours at a time chatting with co-workers while the rest of us slave away). What is a good way to address this?  -- Anonymous

Question: I work for a company that is owned by a very religious person. He has decided to start a "chaplain's program," which consists of a minister coming into the office once a week to talk individually with each employee.

Although we have been told that we do not have to participate, that is very hard to do when the chaplain comes into your office asking "How is your family? Do you have any problems you want to discuss with me?"

I find this to be extremely invasive and do not know how to handle the situation. Can anyone give me any ideas?  -- Anonymous

Question: Often, we have sales people walk in through our front door, and I am wondering what the best approach is to politely — and quickly — get rid of them.  Our office does not accept solicitors, but they all ignore the notice.  And like the telephone solicitors do, they want to quickly get me or the receptionist into a conversation, whether they are selling services or a product.

It is annoying and I don't wish to appear rude, but I really want to stop them in their tracks before they even get to the hand-shaking part.  -- Cindy, California

Question: I work in a very conservative and professional setting. But, during the summer months, some corporations where I have worked in the past allow people to wear what they call "relaxed business attire," which in my circumstance means you can peel the suits, hose and ties, but keep a professional, polished appearance.

The question: Do you feel it is appropriate to have a lady in professional attire go without hose and wear professional sandals?  Please note I am referring to professional women with the proper personal maintenance, i.e., pedicure and hairless legs.  --  Valarie Hayes,  Raleigh, NC

Question: We have three offices in our building and each office has a secretary.  One of our secretaries is a wonderful person but is too loud.  When I am around her, her laughter is so loud it hurts my ears.  It is disruptive to those working nearby and actually embarrassing when visitors are in the office.   Her immediate supervisor has skirted around the issue without addressing it directly, so she really has no idea what the problem actually is.  How can I help her and ease the pain on our eardrums?  -- Anonymous

Question: My boss (who isn’t the warmest guy) feels compelled to give me a box of chocolates each year on Valentine’s Day ... even though it clearly makes us both uncomfortable.

Even worse, some customers and clients send inappropriate gifts to my female colleagues.

For those reasons, I think Valentine’s Day should not be celebrated in the office. Do you agree?  -- M.G., Scranton, Pa.

Question: “Each quarter, I send an e-mail to a committee of approximately 60 members, many of whom are upper management/executives. They have a deadline to respond, using voting buttons (so it’s easy for them), and I flag it to remind them a day ahead of time.

“Inevitably, about eight or 10 don’t respond by the deadline, and I send an e-mail asking them to please respond by the end of business that day, reminding them of the reason these messages are being sent.

“I always feel like this separate e-mail is pointing fingers at them, and I don’t want to do that. Because of the size of the committee, I would prefer not to e-mail the entire group with the request to those who haven’t responded.

“Should I address them by blind copy (Bcc field) so no one can see who the e-mail has been sent to? What’s the most professional way to approach this situation?”  -- Anonymous

Question: “I answer the phone for a few managers, and if they're on the other line, I'll pick up the call. Sometimes, when I'm speaking to the caller, the manager will come on the line. 

“When they begin talking, I just hang up or I say something like, ‘It sounds like So-and-So is on the line now, go right ahead,’ which gets interrupted by the manager or caller anyway. There must be a smoother way to handle this.

“My management and I have a great relationship, so I know that if I come up with a standard way to address the problem, they would be on board with it. Is there any 'best practice' or etiquette rule for this?”  -- California

Question: “A supervisor in my office feels quite comfortable and friendly with me and frequently stops by to chat, share problems and sometimes discuss work-related issues. She talks slowly and with a bit of a stutter.

“She has noticed I’m very busy, so I’ve been able to cut back on her visits unrelated to work, but when she comes by to discuss work it’s never planned ahead and she takes a long time to come to the point, repeats herself or talks in circles. I get impatient and struggle not to appear rude. How can I shorten our visits and deal with her in a polite and tactful manner?”  -- Amy, New Hampshire