Marie McIntyre, Ph.D, Your Office Coach

Marie McIntyre,Ph.D., has more than 20 years experience as a manager, business owner and the HR director at a Fortune 500 company. She's authored two business books and writes a nationwide newspaper column. Her web site, www.YourOfficeCoach.com, offers a variety of career success strategies.
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 Articles by this Author

Question: “One of our co-workers, “Bob,” regularly comes in quite late. Until he gets here, the rest of us have to answer his phone and deal with callers’ problems. Bob is taking advantage of a nice boss who is not a micromanager. Our boss knows that Bob is usually late, but he hasn’t said anything to him. What should we do?” — Tired of Bob

 

Question: “My boss recently confessed that he has “feelings” for me. I am happily married and definitely do not share these feelings. The situation is uncomfortable, because he is the owner of this very small business. Although I have handwritten notes documenting his "emotional attachment,” I have been told this is not sexual harassment. I began looking for a new job, but so far have had no luck. My boss says his feelings haven’t changed, and he wants to know whether I am still planning to leave. What should I do?” — Pursued

Question: “I’ve been my boss’s secretary for more than five years, even changing companies with him. He recently hired another secretary to help with my workload. The problem is that she shares all my responsibilities and seems to have most of the work. It feels as though she has become my replacement. How do I approach my boss about this without sounding like I’m whining?” — Feeling Useless

Question: “In my performance review, my boss included some negative comments from his own manager. Since I don’t agree with these remarks, I said so in the “Employee Comments” section of the appraisal form. I stood up for what I believe to be true, but now I wonder if I made a mistake.  What do you think?”  — Uncertain Employee
Question: “My boss recently told me that I’m not management material. Although I don’t have a degree, I have years of experience and have trained many people. I get along with everyone and frequently receive positive feedback about my work. When I joined this company, the business was just starting to take off. Because of the growth, they are now planning to hire other people to help with my work. I feel that I could supervise them, but my boss says no. How do I become management material?” — Disappointed
Question: “People at work seem to think I’m a flirt, but I don’t agree. My husband and I are happily married, and I’m just a naturally friendly person who likes people. However, I know that if others think I’m flirting, my opinion really doesn't matter. Do you have any advice?” — Friendly Gal
Question: “My husband, ‘Jerry,’ has become quite distressed. After five months as the acting manager of his group, he now has a new boss who is very different from his previous manager. She is slow to act on issues like resolving customer problems or filling open positions. He has tried to talk with her about this, but she is not a strong communicator. Employee morale is sinking, and Jerry feels responsible.  What can he do?” — Worried Wife
Question: "I am absolutely miserable in my job, but it’s hard to look for work while I'm currently employed. The owner of this company is a horrible person who yells and insults her employees. She doesn’t like to give people time off, so I have trouble getting away for interviews. I recently lost a possible position because I couldn't make the interview. I’ve been here for three years. How do I get out?" — Trapped & Depressed
Question: “I recently learned that our newest employee, whom I have been training for a year, makes $15,000 more than I do. A colleague, who accidentally saw a confidential list of salaries in our department, told me. During my 10 years with this company, I always thought that I was one of the most valuable employees. Now I feel betrayed and am not sure how to deal with it.” —  Unappreciated
Question:  “I was a high achiever with no interpersonal skills. I really didn’t know how to talk to people. I was promoted to a management position, with several employees reporting to me. However, I was later demoted because I lacked “people skills.” Since then, I have had a major internal overhaul, and my attitude toward others is completely different. I would like to get my career back on track. Do you think I can change management’s perception of me or should I just move on to another company?” -- Changed for the Better
Question: “After my supervisor retired, I was promoted to fill his position. He had a special arrangement with one employee, “Kelly,” allowing her to come in early and leave early. However, no one ever knew exactly what time she arrived. When the owner promoted me, he said that I must put Kelly on the same schedule as everyone else. I’m not sure how to approach this employee about changing her hours. How can I fix this without losing her?” — Caught in the Middle
Question: “Our department has regular update meetings where all team members review their projects. When I’m presenting, my manager continually interrupts to add background information. I believe that I should be the one to provide any additional information about my work. How do I handle these annoying interruptions without offending my boss?” — Frustrated Speaker
Question: “I’ve had trouble getting along with every manager I’ve ever had. In my last job, it got so bad that I asked for a transfer, but now I’ve run into the same issues with my new boss. I’ve already written to Human Resources about my communication problems with her. How can I turn this situation around?” —  Discouraged
Question: “Last year, I made a sexual harassment complaint against my boss. He kept telling me to wear short skirts and asked if I had thong underwear. He offered to bring me wine and even showed up at my house. When I complained, the president said it was my fault because I wasn't firm enough when I told my boss to stop. He said we should forget about it and tell no one, because “nobody got hurt." Now my boss constantly follows me around the building, asks about my lunch plans and watches out the window when I leave. People have seen him going through my trash. This may not be harassment, but it’s annoying. What can I do until I find another job?” — Need Help
Question:  “Our CEO recently announced that the company is in dire straits, and major layoffs are coming. Top management has not communicated with the staff since the announcement. Morale is really low, employees are starting to accept their fate and very little is getting done. As a senior manager, what can I do to help my employees deal with this and prepare for the future?” — Concerned Executive
Question: "I don’t know how to handle an abusive boss. I work for the president and vice president of a small company. The President and I can discuss anything, but the VP is confrontational and rude.  He verbally abuses me when no one is around and becomes especially angry when deadlines are tight. I’ve been in abusive relationships in my personal life, so I don’t intend to condone this behavior.  However, I’m not sure exactly what to do." — Not a Doormat
Question: "How do you handle a co-worker who constantly uses foul language in a professional office?  I’ve hinted to her that I don’t like it, but that did no good. I talked with her boss and the human resources manager, but they seem to view me as a tattletale. Do I just have to learn to live with the four-letter words?" — Offended
Question: "A manager who works for me won’t take breaks, lunch hours or vacations. Although I tell her to take time off, she never does, so I sometimes pay her a bonus for the extra hours.I keep asking her to delegate, but she refuses to let go. She volunteers for new projects, but she doesn’t finish them. Even though I’ve hired people to help her, I still find that important work isn’t completed. She constantly interrupts employees because she loves to socialize.I don't want to let her go because she is a very nice person, and training a replacement would take a long time.  Please help!" — Desperate
Question: "How do you deal with someone who uses her looks to climb the corporate ladder? This person came into our company with no skills, but she is extremely attractive. She keeps getting promoted to the next level and is never in a job long enough to learn anything. How do the rest of us handle this?" — Just Average
Question: "My new boss wants me to hire someone from his former company whom he highly recommends. When I interviewed the guy, I thought he was reasonably good but not outstanding. I don’t think he’s the best choice, but I’m not sure how to say this to my boss." — Feeling Trapped
Question: "I supervise a group of women who are simply supposed to sit and enter data. No matter what I do, several of them talk nonstop, which disturbs some of their co-workers. How do you get grown women to just work quietly?"  Frustrated Supervisor
Question: “I work with a co-worker who is in a high-anxiety crisis mode every day. All conversations are about her personal problems. Even though I’m not the manager, people often come to me to complain about her. They seem to expect me to do something. How do we keep this woman from driving us crazy?” — Not Her Therapist
Question: “Is it possible to get ahead without working 60-plus hours every week and constantly sucking up to executives? This seems to be the norm at my company, and it’s very frustrating.”  —Unhappy Gen-X'er
Question: “What do you do about a co-worker who never completes anything on time? I’m an administrative assistant, and one person who reports to my boss is always late with his paperwork.  His expense accounts are now three months overdue. Our manager is very unhappy about this, but I don’t think she has said anything to him. I constantly remind him about deadlines, but he usually ignores me. I’m ready to stop helping him and let him hang himself. What should I do?” — Tired of Nagging
Question: “I have applied for many jobs, but no one calls me for an interview. I have 10 years’ experience and my résumé has been professionally written, but I’m not getting any bites. What am I to do?” —Feeling Hopeless