Question: “Shortly after I joined this company, my new boss asked me to have dinner. I assumed we were going to discuss personnel issues in my department. As we were eating, she stared glowingly into my eyes and revealed that she is gay. I almost choked on my food. I am not gay, and this has never happened to me before. Now I feel like I want to run away from this job and start over somewhere else. How do I handle this awkward situation?” — Completely Straight

Marie’s Answer:  Although your discomfort with this unexpected revelation is understandable, try not to jump to any unwarranted conclusions. Here are some things to consider:

•    Your manager’s startling announcement was not necessarily a proposition. She may simply have wanted you to hear this news from her instead of through the office grapevine.  Dinner may have felt more appropriate than a business meeting for such a personal disclosure.  

•     “Glowing” is obviously a subjective interpretation, so don’t read too much into her facial expression. Instead, objectively evaluate the rest of your dinner conversation. If the topics were appropriate, then you may be overreacting.

•    The key question is what happens next. If your manager consistently treats you in a professional, businesslike manner, then try not to be distracted by this personal information.  Just interact with her as you would with any other boss.

•    On the other hand, any improper overtures, including repeated dinner invitations, should be considered sexual harassment and immediately reported to your human resources department.

If nothing of this sort occurs, however, you may soon find that your new boss’s leadership style is more important to you than her private life.