Anytime you thrust people together, whether work related or family related, you come across a “toxic taker.” Toxic takers poison your environment, and you need to take action against them.
Do you know a toxic taker who bemoans, bullies and belittles?
Example: Something wonderful has just happened to you either at work or in your personal life. You open up to the toxic taker expecting her to share in your joys, and instead, the belittling begins.
The toxic takers in your life are unable to handle your successes because they feel it minimizes their own. Deep insecurities and little to no self-esteem afflict belittlers.
Example: Your boss hands you a bonus for your excellent work on a project. You took the initiative and went above and beyond the call of duty and also increased revenues. But you catch sight of your venomous co-worker making a beeline toward you.
Learn how to deal with poor-performing or disruptive employees from the HR pros. Problem Employees: Coach 'Em, Discipline 'Em, and Turn 'Em Around
What are some survival tactics to help you deal with these toxic-taking torpedoes?
1. Be unavailable. Clearly, there will be times when this is not feasible, but go out of your way to stay away.
2. Accept it. Tolerating the behavior doesn’t mean you condone it. It means you know that it will be coming and you accept the person as is. It doesn’t affect your outcome or happiness.
3. Change it! Recognize that bitterness plays a key role in belittling. When the toxic taker immediately negates your work, accomplishments or disparages what you have in your life, speak your truth.
Focus on practical, hands-on solutions — not theory — with the CD from this live event. Expert trainer Amy Henderson walks you through a series of five real-life scenarios, explaining how to determine the root cause of the problem and the manager's proper response. Problem Employees: Coach 'Em, Discipline 'Em, and Turn 'Em Around
Example: She says, “I worked just as hard around here for years and no one has ever said that to me before!” Those comments are demeaning and unproductive. So instead, change the focus. Your response could be, “I’m getting the impression that you feel my work isn’t valid (or the feedback undeserving). Is that the impression you meant to give?”
You’ve now put the onus (and some fairly quick introspection) on the side of the belittler. She will most likely stumble over a brief, “No, I’m sorry, I meant to say it this way …” What will follow will be a watered-down version that will probably contain a compliment. Just politely say, “Thank you. I appreciate your remarks. I put a lot of effort in it. Now I better get back to work,” and walk away.
In this CD on Problem Employees you'll learn:
Problem Employees: Coach 'Em, Discipline 'Em, and Turn 'Em Around
- The two types of poor performance — and why it's important to know the difference.
- The correct steps for "diagnosing" problems.
- An easy, yet powerful, tool for tracking employee performance.
- Four "coaching points" to include in every employee discussion.
- How to foster ongoing employee feedback throughout the year.
- And much more!
- How to Fire an Employee the Legal Way: 6 Termination Guidelines
- 10 Secrets to an Effective Performance Review
- Watch out, managers! The top 6 firing mistakes to avoid
- Outsourcing hiring doesn't save you from liability
- Want to create fear? 7 rules
- Remind management: Don't consider temporary medical problems when making layoff decisions