Handling a hothead … while staying cool

Don't let a hot-under-the-collar customer or co-worker cause you to lose your cool. Instead, use these four tips from Roberta Cava, author of Dealing With Difficult People (www.cavaconsulting.com):

1. Soothe the tension in your body by taking a series of deep, calming breaths. The belligerent person may have triggered your “fight or flight” instinct.
   
   
2. Suggest a timeout for both sides to think things over, calm down and reassess the situation with a clear head.
   
   
3. Repeat after me … Paraphrase what the person says. That lets him or her know you’re listening.
   
   
4. Show that you’re willing to negotiate. You can’t change a difficult person, but you can show that you’re open to changing your position. If you won’t budge, the other person probably won’t, either.

Caveat: If the person has completely “lost it,” stick with step No. 2.

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