We’re naturally drawn to people who are confident and passionate about life. These people are charming and seem to easily get along with everyone because they have charisma, says life coach Jason Treu.
While charisma seems effortless, it’s actually a learned behavior that’s worth working on because it can help you connect with colleagues and clients, and in doing so advance your career.
Treu offers these seven tips to help you become more charismatic.
1. Be vulnerable and authentic. Charismatic people aren’t afraid to show weakness or admit failure. It’s easy to brag about yourself and your successes, but people are more impressed by someone who’s genuine and compliments others on their successes.
2. Find common ground fast. When you have a contrary opinion, it’s easy to fall into an argument. But that usually doesn’t end well. Charismatic people seek common ground and compromise. When they present a dissenting opinion, they do it subtly in a way that furthers the conversation.
3. Reach out and touch someone. When used correctly, touch can help build powerful connections. For example, if you’re congratulating someone on a promotion, shake her hand or pat her gently on the shoulder or upper arm.
4. Learn how to take a compliment. Most people aren’t very good at receiving compliments. They can make people uncomfortable and even downgrade their own achievements. You should receive every compliment like a gift. Just say “thank you,” and leave it at that.
5. Pay attention. Give people your full, undivided attention. Be present and focused during conversations. In addition, practice active listening to generate likability and trust. When you ask sincere questions, people are more likely to open up to you and return the favor.
6. Show everyone respect. Everyone you come in contact with deserves the same amount of respect, kindness and appreciation. Watch out for people who are willing to mistreat others in public. If a colleague disrespects servers or acts differently in a group setting, it’s a sign she could mistreat you or others in a business setting.
7. Fight the urge to name drop. There’s a difference in bragging and speaking sincerely about people you know and admire. Don’t drop names gratuitously. Only bring them up if doing so benefits the conversation and is authentic.
— Adapted from “How to Be Charismatic: 7 Ways to Build Better Work Relationships,” Jason Treu, Brazen Careerist.