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Résumé ridiculousness: Ixnay on the ornpay inkslay

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Every spring, CareerBuilder surveys hiring managers about the state of the résumés they receive (see “Lies, damned lies, résumés” below)—and also asks them to forward the best résumé blunders they have seen.

Among this year’s “winners” were applicants who:

  • Began a cover letter with “Hey you”
  • Claimed to be the former CEO of the company where he was applying
  • Touted fluency in two languages—one of which was pig Latin
  • Wrote “whorehouse” instead of “warehouse” on work history
  • Provided a link to a porn site instead of his personal website
  • Claimed to be a Nobel Prize winner
  • Cited HVAC certification, but later asked what “HVAC” means
  • Claimed to have attended a college that never existed
  • Cited simultaneous experience at three different companies in three different cities.

Lies, damned lies, résumés

From the same CareerBuilder survey, we learn that more than half of employers (56%) have caught job applicants lying on their résumés. When asked to name the most common areas about which job seekers fib, those employers named the following:

Embellished skills   62%

Exaggerated responsibilities   54%

Fudged dates of employment   39%

Phony job titles   31%

Fraudulent academic degrees   28%

Source: CareerBuilder.com survey, August 2015

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