Want to be a leader? 3 simple ways to act like one
Being a successful leader is about equal parts skill, intellect, inherent talent—and how you’re perceived.
Here are a few simple ways you can adjust your approach, and boost your perceived authority and credibility amongst leadership, and the teams you manage.
1. Beef up your listening skills
How much coaching have you received on active listening, and how much time do you dedicate to improving your listening skills? If you’re like most leaders, your response is probably “very little”—if ever.
Active listening skills are a hallmark of leadership potential, but very few people really know how to do it—or get what it’s all about.
Active listening goes far beyond the auditory, or even the obligatory nod of the head to cue interest. It’s not about speaking less, or letting employees do more of the talking.
Active listening requires receiving what another person shares or proposes completely free of judgment, without your preconceived notions.
It also means avoiding the temptation to start mentally information-gathering so you’re armed to respond once they’re done talking.
Delaying that rapid-fire response can be especially tough for middle managers who are often required to think quickly in a meeting of “alpha dogs,” or feel pressured to propose solutions on the fly, or hold firm to a particular point of view or approach. But as the foundation of empathy and trust, it’s a critical leadership skill.
“One of the biggest hurdles in mastering active listening is learning how to listen without trying to sell the speaker your point of view,” writes leadership consultant Jim Canterucci. That means focusing on what people say—and signal—with their nonverbals. Noting these subtle cues can transform interactions entirely.
“As an active listener, you create a dynamic that encourages others to put all their cards on the table,” Canterucci says. “The more you can empathize with the person speaking, the more they will open up and share with you. This is vital because until you identify and comprehend the problem, you can’t begin to solve it.”
2. Admit what you don’t know
People want to feel confident in their leader’s intellect and experience. Yet, they also want to relate to them on a human level.
Consider the actions of some popular politicians, and the public reaction to their decisions. Regardless of their agreement with a politician’s err in judgment, people have a tendency to gather around a person they perceive as human, and flawed. It creates a sense of commonality.
Admitting what you don’t know serves as a similar connection.
Kevan Lee, at the high-traffic social media blog Buffer, offers his take: “Being open to not knowing things seems to be the best way to learn quickly and teach others at the same time. So many of our biggest hits on the blog have come from saying, ‘We don’t know the answer. Let’s find out!’”
Though there’s a sensitive balance to admitting ignorance and maintaining credibility, admitting what you don’t know (and inviting a hunt for the answer) can, somewhat ironically, help to build perceived authority.
3. Choose your words carefully
Verbal fillers like “um,” “like,” and “you know” are widely known as instant credibility killers. But there are plenty of other words that can diminish your perceived authority, too.
For example, saying the word “just” can diminish one’s perception of the speaker’s confidence. “Actually” can indicate there’s more to the story that’s not being shared, or that the speaker is defensive. “Never” can indicate not being open to change or new ways of doing things. “Always” implies blame instead of a search for solutions. Using “but” as a transitional phrase can diminish what would otherwise appear to be a positive statement, and make you appear “wishy washy” in your position.
For example, “We’re hiring two new employees, but we’ll have to be more aggressive in our goals to support the new budget.” For a more authoritative transition, replace the “but” with “however.”
