If you find yourself losing control at work, it’s important to step back and see what’s really happening— as hard as that can be to do in the moment.
Sometimes, those intense feelings bubbling up are unrelated to what’s happening at the time, says Lynn Friedman, a psychologist and career consultant. “It could have more to do with your professional relationship with this person, circumstances that led up to this upsetting event, self-confidence or it could spring from earlier life experiences."
Rather than reacting in the moment, buy yourself some time by saying: “This is disappointing to me and I want to think about it. Can we talk about it in a day or two?” Then try to look at what is angering and upsetting you as objectively as possible. “If, for example, you’re very disappointed about a decision affecting a project of yours, think about what might be behind that decision,” Friedman says.
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