Managers spend a good part of their workday listening to other people. But bear in mind, there’s a big difference between “passive” and “active” listening.
In many cases, managers are too busy thinking about their response rather than listening to the employee’s full statement. In a business setting, this lack of attention can result in costly mistakes, wasted time, poor service andfailure.
By listening fully and in a way that shows understanding and respect for the speaker, you develop a rapport and build trust. That’s the true foundation from which you can manage and influence others.
Effective listeners use a four-step process to ensure understanding:
1. Listen to the total message
If you hear only bits of what is said, you may draw the wrong conclusions.
So, before you begin to frame your response, listen to everything the person has to say and give 100% of your attention. Find the main thought the person is trying to share and consider it from his or her perspective — not yours.
Prove that you care by suspending all other activities. Don’t flip through papers or keep checking your watch.
2. Prove your understanding by using nonverbal signals
Let the person know that you’re paying attention through your nonverbal cues. Doing so sets a comfortable level for the conversation and encourages the other person to keep talking. It also demonstrates that you’re interested in the topic and paying attention.
Some positive nonverbal signals:
- Moving from behind the desk.
- Maintaining eye contact.
- Leaning forward slightly.
- Raising your eyebrows when the speaker makes a significant point.
- Nodding to indicate agreement.
3. Use open-ended probes
These are questions that allow the other person to respond at length, rather than with just a “yes” or “no” response. Open-ended questions begin with words like “why”, “how”, “explain” or “describe.”
By asking these types of questions, you’ll encourage the other person to share his or her opinions and feelings and elicit additional information.
Be aware of the number of open-ended questions you ask. Then consciously try to increase the number. You’ll find that the quality of your communication improves dramatically.
4. Paraphrase what you hear
To say “I understand” isn’t enough. People typically need some sort of evidence of your understanding.
In addition to nonverbal cues and questions, prove your understanding by briefly restating the information you’ve just heard or by asking a question that proves you know the main idea.
You don’t do this to prove that you were listening to the person, but to prove that you understand them. There’s a big difference.
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