Self-sabotage occurs when we send ourselves destructive mental messages. If you think “I can’t do that,” “I dread that” or “They all know I’m faking it,” then your internal tape loop can undermine your job performance.
Feed yourself positive messages. Replace fretting (“Why can’t I do this?”) with an optimistic sense of anticipation (“Let’s see how well I do on this.”). Other tips:
Stop assuming. Stressed out folks often adopt worst-case thinking. They assume systems will break down, people will screw up, colleagues will hate them and disasters will hamper any progress.
Don’t play that game. Monitor your assumptions. If you lack the facts to draw a conclusion, gather more information before you embrace a doomsday scenario.
Heed praise. If your confidence is shaken, you may close yourself off to compliments. When colleagues praise your work, accept their positive input with grace. Don’t second-guess their motives or contradict them.
Better yet, the next time you experience high stress and extreme insecurity, replay the person’s voice giving you a compliment. Hear them saying, “You did a super job,” or, “I could never have pulled that off”— and see them smiling in admiration or giving you a pat on the back.
Fix what’s broken. Rather than brood (“Why does he resent me?”), think of ambitious solutions (“I’ll win him over.”). Strategize about what you can control. Don’t dwell on what you can’t.