Question: “I am looking for a good seminar on ‘Communicating with Diplomacy’ or ‘Working with Difficult People.’ I saw some local classes that looked relevant, however, after reading the reviews online, I’m hesitant to register. Can you recommend any workshops to get this information?" – Melisa
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I *highly* recommend a book called DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND by Brinkman and Kirschner.
The explanations are clear and easy to understand, and the examples are amusing and easy to remember. Best of all, it works! Every time!
I actually keep mine on my personal “very favorite books of all time” shelf and re-read it every couple of years.
Hmmm… It’s starting to sound like I can’t stand a whole lot of people. I suppose I might want to consider looking into that someday… :)
At least in the meantime, the book works well enough that no one ever need know!
Melisa:
Florence Littauer is an author that is not only funny but a terrific writer and speaker. Just Google her on line and if you read through the various sites, one of them is titled, “How to get along with difficult people.” I did read this myself and it is a funny, but great read. It puts life in prospective. Additionally, she has written close to 30 books on various topics. The books I know her best for are things regarding personalities.
Hope this helps you!
Deb
Go SkillPath! Same here. Love them. Also, there are a ton of books you can read, audiobooks, too. Go to Amazon and enter in difficult people, communicating with difficult people. If it is manager related, enter in bad bosses or “Working for you is killing me.”
Have you looked into the continuing education dept of your local university &/or community college? Almost all U's offer short courses on conflict resolution, office communication, etc as stand alone courses or often as part of their certificate offerings… (accredited universities = quality assurance, plus networking opportunities among faculty and fellow adult students….and it's fun to have an excuse to be on a college campus again)
And have you read BMD's free reports offering advice on working w/ difficult people? … And Marie C's blog this week on BMD ("Treat Disrespectful Coworker With Respect") Her advice is also included in the reports: We should treat even tantrum throwers with maturity and respect by _listening_ to their stories ("actively" not "passively")….
As my mother used to say, "We like the people who like us." So you can start by finding something to like about the difficult person and have compassion for them for their…uh "issues" (hard to do if you're getting screamed at or backstabbed or given disjointed/changing instructions or getting your work nitpicked at…but surely something about that person is to be admired (their passion for their work?)
Most importantly we're supposed to consider that many difficulties with others are due to differences in our _thinking styles_ rather than character defects… i.e., “Creative Visionaries” focus on the big picture, get excited about new ideas and making changes while “Organized Implementers,” emphasize details, outline action items, plan ahead and hate last-minute changes… both types can be valuable employees even while they drive each other crazy…but they can even make a great team if they can learn to admire and respect their different contributions.
See: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/glp/17703/Workplace-Conflict-Resolution.html and Office Communication Toolkit: 10 tips for managers (active listening tips etc) http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/glp/28531/Office-Communication.html#signup
I agree with Laura completely! I have taken a couple of wonderful seminars with them that were quite helpful. They gave great examples and tips!
SkillPath Seminars are great. They have a course exatctly for this, which I’ve attended in the past. http://www.skillpath.com/index.cfm/main/default