If you have "frenemies" — colleagues with whom you have unproductive relationships — they can suck the energy right out of you. But don't give up!
Frenemy 1: The Fixer-Upper. He sees you as his own personal therapist. He monopolizes your time with his neediness, rushing to your desk whenever he sees that you're free.
Protect yourself: Refuse to be the "rescuer" who solves his problems. Instead, say, "I'm confident you'll find the right solution."
Frenemy 2: The Complainer. He can't get with the program. He gripes about everything and makes cracks about management whenever he has a chance.
Protect yourself: Ask him to come up with solutions to his own problems! Example: The next time he complains about something management has done, ask, "What do you think we should do about it?" Putting him on the spot forces him to either come up with constructive suggestions or put a lid on it.
Frenemy 3: The Constant Talker. He's not interested in you. He just wants an audience. You try to get a word in, but he talks right over you. His stories and jokes probably seemed entertaining at first, but now you find yourself edging away whenever he comes near.
Protect yourself: Be diplomatic but assertive. After a minute or two of listening, say: "I've taken enough of your time. You must have important things to do." Then, head back to your desk.
Take the trouble out of troublemakers. Difficult People at Work is the ultimate guide to simple, satisfying and oh-so-successful "detoxification" strategies for dealing with difficult co-workers. Learn more...Frenemy 4: The Space Cadet. She's rather endearing. She never argues or talks back, but she seems to be living on a different planet. While most of your colleagues have the sound sense and judgment to make decisions about what is or isn't important, space cadets can't.
Protect yourself: Don't trust her judgment. When working with a space cadet, protect your precious time by explaining what's required up front, in detail and preferably in writing.
Frenemy 5: The Control Freak. She's not just hands on, she's hands all over. Even when she gives you a project to do on your own, she's constantly nagging, checking up on you and bombarding you with questions and reminders because she's afraid to let go of some control.
Protect yourself: Detach. Take a deep breath, and leave the room or hang up the phone. Ignore negative comments. Don't try to get the control freak to agree with you.
Frenemy 6: The Bully. The ultimate office frenemy, she can publicly humiliate you, use guilt to manipulate you to do her bidding or blow up and make scenes to intimidate you. But, just like on the schoolyard, bullies are usually compensating for a hidden vulnerability.
Protect yourself: Aggressive people give very little weight to how a person feels, so showing emotion won't help you much. Rather, analyze the bully's inner fear and address that fear instead of the rage.
Disconnect your office Button Pusher!
From now on, you're in charge. From now on, you're off-limits to time-wasters, gossip-spreaders, back-stabbers and bullies. No more getting bulldozed. No more cleaning up other people's messes. And no more getting pressured into buying armloads of raffle tickets, wrapping paper, cookies and candy.
Difficult People at Work reveals the other kinds of people skills – the ones that aren't taught in business school, but should be because toxic co-workers can absolutely pollute your work environment and your career.
This all-time best-seller reveals proven, practical strategies you can use immediately to restore your power, protect your personal space and actually free yourself to get ahead. (Ahhh, how satisfying!!!!!)
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