Leaders are not immune to resentment, but it’s been said that holding onto a grudge is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.
Denying that you cling to resentment only prolongs the pain.
You won’t free yourself until you let go of the wish or hope that the object of your resentment would change to fit your desire. That ain’t happening.
Instead of focusing on what you would change in somebody else, turn your attention to what needs to change in you. First steps:
1. When you notice yourself feeling resentful, examine what it is you wish or hope for that’s different from reality.
2. Reflect on that reality: how it happened and what it means. Or write about it. Or talk through it with someone you trust.
3. Consider what you need to accept that person or situation. Remember: Acceptance doesn’t mean approval. It means acknowledgment.
— Adapted from “Monday Leader Tip: Resentment,” David Peck, The Recovering Leader, www.leadershipunleashed.com.