Are any of you like I used to be? Always available to listen, motivate, brainstorm and basically provide your friends, family and colleagues with whatever they needed to play an outstanding game while you watched from the sidelines?
For example, perhaps your colleague, Margie, approaches you and asks for your advice regarding a new marketing position. Not only do you deliver key insights into the department, but you help her update her résumé and send links to interviewing skills. Yet, you stop yourself from applying for the same position even though it sounds intriguing and you possess the necessary skills.
So, what’s stopping you? For me, it boiled down to my own fears of facing the truth. Filling up my time meeting everyone else’s needs gave me the best excuse in the world why I couldn’t go after my own goals and dreams. Putting my focus on everyone else’s desires kept me safe, secure and out of the game.
So what changed? I did! After years of watching everyone take my advice, execute the perfect play and score, I was left with two distinct thoughts. One, it stinks being on the bench, and two, if they can do it, so can I. And so can you!
It’s time to start listening to your own inner voice, not your inner critic. When you hear the critic show up and speak to your fears, stop, erase and replace. Stop the negative mind chatter, say “erase” to rip that disbelief off the subconscious tape and replace your chatter with a positive, self-affirming statement. You catch yourself saying, “I better not apply for the marketing position. It would require additional hours and I’m barely able to handle my life now.” Stop! Erase! Replace: “I am capable of handling this position.”
The next time someone asks for your great advice at the cost of your own accomplishments, say, “I wish I could support you on this, but I’m filled to the brim right now working on my own goals.”
It’s OK to find yourself sitting on the bench now and again, but only long enough to rest up for the next incredible, amazing opportunity coming your way.
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